What Women Say

According to one old website there are some things that only women understand. Such as a cat’s facial expressions, the need for the same style of shoes in different colors, the difference between beige, off-white and eggshell, the inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made, and of course, the number one thing that only women understand: other women.

Strangely, that website has disappeared from cyberspace, but thankfully, women and men are still around. And that makes the world an interesting and humorous place. There’s this man who told the love of his life, “I would go to the end of the world for you.” She replied, “But would you stay there?” He no longer uses that line, but hasn’t given up yet. Instead, he tried what he thought was a more hep approach: “Hey baby, what’s your sign?” He got an instant response: “No entry!”

Some see it as a battle of the sexes, while others see it as good fun. Certainly, a sense of humor goes a long way to keep it cool. But in the heat of the moment, things get said that makes it hard to keep a straight face. Here’s a sampling.

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” Erica Jong

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” Maryon Pearson

“I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.” Gloria Steinem

“I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog, which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.” Marie Corelli

“I think – therefore I’m single.” Lizz Winstead

That last one is a classic and reminds me of Junior who came home from school and said to his mother, “There are an awful lot of girls who don’t want to get married.” A surprised mother responded, “How do you know?” Junior innocently explained, “I asked them.”

Many years ago, Time magazine carried an essay on ‘ranting’. [i] According to the writer, “Feminism has summoned up some splendid ranting. In the 60s, Valerie Solanis wrote, ‘It is now technically possible to reproduce without the aid of males (or for that matter, females) and to produce only females. We must begin immediately to do so. The male is a biological accident: the Y (male) gene is an incomplete X (female) gene, that is, has an incomplete set of chromosomes. In other words, the male is an incomplete female, a walking abortion, aborted at the gene state…” This is one angry woman, with good reason, no doubt.

A woman usually has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

But what if we followed her advice?