Making sense of the world.
Posts tagged Personal behavior
Beyond Blindness
Sep 3rd
I lay frightfully awake past midnight, gripped by a sudden fear of the possibility of going blind. What
had brought on this fear? I don’t know. Maybe an imagination on overdrive, or the awareness of growing age and deteriorating health. The fear was very real and not nice. It took me to the edge of darkness. I could not see myself coping with blindness. So how did those who had actually lost their sight manage? I remembered seeing blind men with sticks boarding Mumbai local trains. I thought of Helen Keller. Yet, the suffocating fear took time to recede.
Two days later I came across Kanchan’s story.
Blind at Eight
Kanchan woke up and rubbed her eyes. She could hear familiar morning sounds, but could see nothing. As she turned her head around, she saw only darkness. She felt her father’s arms around her as he asked, “Did you dream?” That’s when she screamed out in horror, at the realization that she could not see. “I felt the world closing up around me, as if someone had cut the breath of life,” says Kanchan. Initially, her parents could not believe what had happened to their eight-year-old. They took her to specialists in Chennai, who confirmed the diagnosis that Kanchan had a detached retina; the light-sensitive layer of tissue at the back of the eyeball that sent image signals to the brain had failed. She had become permanently blind.
How’s Your Handshake?
Nov 11th
A University of Alabama study indicates that a firm, assertive handshake makes for a good first impression. That may be true for the western world. What about the rest? Is it always necessary to shake hands?
A handshake is a two way street. Similarly with eye contact. Cultural issues are involved and one needs to be sensitive. In Manali, Himachal Pradesh, men are given to shaking hands with men every time they meet, specially among friends. In some tribal communities where missionaries have gone, traditional ways of greeting have been replaced by the handshake, which appears quite absurd. In countries with non-western cultural values, an aggressive handshake or direct eye contact may be unwelcome and may convey the wrong message. It may even lead to trouble.
In some cultures, if a man ‘gazes’ or offers a handshake to a young woman during a religious-public ceremony, the man will have committed a public crime and could be punished. In another setting, offering a handshake to a subordinate of a leader would be considered a ‘disgraceful’ act and would end business negotiations. In certain countries, touching a female, for whatever reason including medical, is considered an illegal sexual act and may invite extreme punishment.
“A firm handshake,” says Alabama psychologist William F. Chaplin, “may provide an effective initial form of self-promotion for women.” He adds that it does not have the costs associated with other less subtle forms of assertive self-promotion. So, a firm handshake is a safe way for women to express confidence while avoiding negative perceptions.