A few people trying to make sense of the world.

A University of Alabama study indicates that a firm, assertive handshake makes for a good first impression. That may be true for the western world. What about the rest? Is it always necessary to shake hands?

A handshake is a two way street. Similarly with eye contact. Cultural issues are involved and one needs to be sensitive. In Manali, Himachal Pradesh, men are given to shaking hands with men every time they meet, specially among friends. In some tribal communities where missionaries have gone, traditional ways of greeting have been replaced by the handshake, which appears quite absurd. In countries with non-western cultural values, an aggressive handshake or direct eye contact may be unwelcome and may convey the wrong message. It may even lead to trouble.

In some cultures, if a man ‘gazes’ or offers a handshake to a young woman during a religious-public ceremony, the man will have committed a public crime and could be punished. In another setting, offering a handshake to a subordinate of a leader would be considered a ‘disgraceful’ act and would end business negotiations. In certain countries, touching a female, for whatever reason including medical, is considered an illegal sexual act and may invite extreme punishment.

“A firm handshake,” says Alabama psychologist William F. Chaplin, “may provide an effective initial form of self-promotion for women.” He adds that it does not have the costs associated with other less subtle forms of assertive self-promotion. So, a firm handshake is a safe way for women to express confidence while avoiding negative perceptions.

Body language adds a lot to the encounter, which can be used to your advantage. A UCLA study finds that about 93 percent of a person’s communicative effectiveness comes through body language.

What’s your handshake like? What does it convey to others? An article in Pyschology Today provides the following tips to master the handshake:

• Use the handshake to learn the person’s first name. Use the person’s name, “Nice to meet you Samir.”
• Stand straight, shoulders back and lift your head
• Maintain eye contact
• Keep your body squared to the other person’s, to convey you are receptive and unafraid
• Men and women should stand when receiving an introduction (unless standing would be prohibitively difficult)
• Keep drinks in your left hand in situations where you are repeatedly being introduced; no one likes a wet or cold handshake
• Don’t offer your hand for a shake if the other person has his or hers full
• Removes gloves (except when it’s painfully cold)
• Make your grip complete, firm and full of energy. Let it last three to four seconds.

Lastly, a good handshake goes with a good facial expression. Being stone faced won’t do. Let your face and your handshake show that you’re open, friendly and not a threat.