saumitra

“Your mind knows only some things. Your inner voice, your instinct, knows everything. If you listen to what you know instinctively, it will always lead
you down the right path.”

We have all known about our inner voice for some time now, It is supposed to be a guide, our concience, and the voice of reason above instinct.

Till now I had always taken my inner voice for granted. But it recently went silent. And that’s when I realised the role it played in my happiness.

My inner voice is not just my concience, but many-many things. It is my confidant, my wingman, my friend in solitude and most importantly, it is an amplifier of all positive emotions and a muffler to all negative emotions.

Many joyous occasions have I experienced, never realizing that something within me had the power to dull that excitement to a point of depression. Friends have always helped overcome a low point in life but they cannot change how you think or how you feel (albeit for a short period of time) about it unless the inner voice allows it.

I have often (not often enough to be deemed insane) found myself talking to my inner voice, laughing at jokes and imaginary hypothetical
situations created by my mind. I always assumed that it was me; ‘my mind’ which created the humor and which responded accordingly. But just as it’s not possible to tickle yourself, I don’t believe that it is possible to amuse yourself. It was my inner voice.

Recent events have left me disillusioned and alone. I venture to guess (as I myself do not know for sure) that my inner voice is in a
state of shock and has therefore gone quiet. I find myself pouting, shunning company, not laughing at jokes, not caring for upcoming events to which I was looking forward to a few days back.

I do not know what to do… I can only assume that time heals all and will therefore heal me too.

I do miss that inner voice. I do wish it comes back soon.