Making sense of the world.
Avinash
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Posts by Avinash
Difficult Conversations
Jan 5th
© Kobra | Dreamstime.com
Have you ever noticed how many of our conversations are “for the most part dialogues of the deaf.” Some conversations drag, like walking on molten tar. A precious few like a walk in the park, leave us understood, delighted and refreshed.
Dr Paul Tournier[i] points out that our tendency is to set forth our own ideas, to justify ourselves, to enhance ourselves and to accuse others. Mostly, we are so busy with our own internal conversation, our self-talk, that we hardly hear, leave alone understand, those talking with us. It seems to be as common in homes and offices, as between friends and nations.
We have been given two ears and one mouth, so I guess we need to listen twice as much as we talk. As one proverb puts it: A wise man has large ears. It would seem that evolution has mostly produced people with tiny ears and inflated egos. Some cosmetic surgery might do good. Here are two interesting links on the subject. Check them out, to help get those ears.
Difficult Conversations article
[i] Marriage Difficulties by Paul Tournier
Urban Fall
Dec 14th
© Yurok Aleksandrovich | Dreamstime.com
The trees have all gone. Cut down ruthlessly in mindless greed. The soothing bird sounds replaced by the intrusive noise of construction machinery. The fresh cool breeze transformed into a soiled, discomforting oily presence leaving a fine layer of dust everywhere. The wide open space now jammed edge to edge with cement and steel. Right before my eyes, a suggestion of Eden has rapidly degraded into a stifling nightmare.
Another block of flats rises inexorably next to ours with no breathing space in between. We will soon be able to climb over our balcony into our future neighbor’s. In some of our rooms we will have to keep the lights on during the day. This is not just happening next to us. It seems to be happening everywhere. A city named for its once abundant banyan trees is busy digging its own grave and doing it with gaurav, pride, one step away from the proverbial fall.
Success Tips from a Great Entertainer
Nov 11th
It’s amazing how many of today’s success stories have had less than promising beginnings. Steve Jobs of Apple is one, Jay Leno is another. A great entertainer, Leno is also a consummate sales professional.
No overnight sensation, Leno began his career as a door-to-door salesman. Today, he engages his persuasive skills in selling his TV program and public speaking engagements. There’s much one can learn from him. Here’s a list:
- Unafraid of Failure. Some of Leno’s early performances were weak. Years went by before he appeared on television. But he kept honing his skills. This prepared him for the breaks that came his way, which led to his current success.
- Work is Fun. Leno spends his free time doing personal appearances that promote his career. He rarely takes vacations, though he is quite generous in giving vacations to his staff. Most people see work as a way to finance their “fun” activities, but Leno sees work as fun in itself.
- Take Risks. Leno sticks his neck out to further his career. When he began appearing on television, he was selected “Best Face to Caricature” by the “American Caricature Association,” an organization he had invented. Yet, this gave his career a big public relations boost.
- Connect with Everyone. Everyone is a potential customer. Leno is in the habit of being accessible. He will wave and smile when people spot him driving one of his rare automobiles. When hired for speeches, he greets and shakes the hands of as many people as possible.
- Give Back. Leno gives time to genuine community service. He has flown at his own expense to Chicago or Detroit to do benefits for the homeless. The spinoff is that people view him as a great guy. That’s image building and great for career progression.
- Be Thankful. When Leno’s article was published, he personally called the publisher and thanked him. He didn’t have to do that, but that’s the way he thinks, and why he’s so successful.
How’s Your Handshake?
Nov 11th
A University of Alabama study indicates that a firm, assertive handshake makes for a good first impression. That may be true for the western world. What about the rest? Is it always necessary to shake hands?
A handshake is a two way street. Similarly with eye contact. Cultural issues are involved and one needs to be sensitive. In Manali, Himachal Pradesh, men are given to shaking hands with men every time they meet, specially among friends. In some tribal communities where missionaries have gone, traditional ways of greeting have been replaced by the handshake, which appears quite absurd. In countries with non-western cultural values, an aggressive handshake or direct eye contact may be unwelcome and may convey the wrong message. It may even lead to trouble.
In some cultures, if a man ‘gazes’ or offers a handshake to a young woman during a religious-public ceremony, the man will have committed a public crime and could be punished. In another setting, offering a handshake to a subordinate of a leader would be considered a ‘disgraceful’ act and would end business negotiations. In certain countries, touching a female, for whatever reason including medical, is considered an illegal sexual act and may invite extreme punishment.
“A firm handshake,” says Alabama psychologist William F. Chaplin, “may provide an effective initial form of self-promotion for women.” He adds that it does not have the costs associated with other less subtle forms of assertive self-promotion. So, a firm handshake is a safe way for women to express confidence while avoiding negative perceptions.
Oasis? You Must Be Joking!
Oct 31st
The largest cruise liner yet built was launched from Finland on Friday, October 30. Oasis of the Seas is five times larger than Titanic and 40% larger than any other cruise ship in the world. It rises 20 stories high and stretches 1,200 feet. The ship accommodates 8,400 people on board. There are parks, squares, arenas, 12,000 plants, a 750-seat outdoor theater, an indoor theater seating 1,300, four swimming pools, volleyball and basketball courts, a mini golf course, and blah blah blah.
Exciting! Impressive! Symbol of man’s progress and dominion, or, is it destruction?
Why would someone sail on the high seas to play golf? Or volleyball? I lived a couple of decades in the mountain town of Manali. And saw people coming to this beautiful Himalayan paradise, supposedly on holiday, but holed up in their rooms watching movies and what not. Now, why would people do that? They could do that back home in Delhi or Mumbai, or wherever.
What about the 8000 people doing potty on board? That’s a lot. Where does it all go? It is claimed that none of the sewage will be discharged in the sea. Maybe that’s why they made it so big, so several day’s contributions could be carried and dumped, where? Your guess is as good as mine. I wonder how the dolphins feel about it. Like the little boy in Slumdog Millionaire running to meet Amitabh Bachhan.
What about the garbage? The fuel emissions? Looking at pictures of the ship and reading about it gives a disorienting feeling. Is there really an environmental crisis? Or a fuel crisis? Or an economic recession? All those economists and environmentalists must be joking. Or has the situation gotten so bad that you have to call this monstrosity the Oasis of the Seas. That’s irony.
Freedom of the Mountains
Oct 18th
The road from Manali to Spiti or Ladakh passes through awesome scenery. Pictures fail to capture the magnitude of the landscape, the colours and wild beauty.
Ten Mantras for Great Teams
Oct 17th
© Fallenangel | Dreamstime.com
“No man is an island, entire of itself” said John Donne a long time ago. Still true today. Even leaders like Barrack Obama, Steve Jobs or Bill Gates need a supportive and enabling team. Similarly, we all have a latent capacity to excel if we function effectively together, but it doesn’t happen automatically. We have to work at it.
Many teams with the potential to excel get mired in mediocrity, hamstrung by internal strife, and barely hold together, leave alone achieving anything. Some teams are even busy doing nothing. As management guru Peter Drucker commented, “There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”
Here are ten time-tested mantras to keep that from happening to you and your team.
Be the Change You Want to See
The transformation of a disjointed group of individuals into a well-knit, high performing team is an individual as well as a team effort. In the great Mahatma’s words, each team member must “be the change you want to see.” Then a lot can happen. Think about these mantras, discuss them, practice them. They will launch your team out of its limitations to achieve what you can never achieve alone.
Great team performance is more than the sum of individual effort. It is the result of synergy flowing from a deep sense of togetherness and purpose; twin qualities that have to be developed and continually maintained.
The Elements of Cohesiveness
What makes a team cohesive? What can you do to produce a deep sense of togetherness within the team? Consider the following five.
Develop Personal Integrity
Enron collapsed like a house of cards because of zero integrity. What happens when integrity is absent? Regular disturbances, blame games, negative criticisms, destructive politics, manipulations, inter-personal conflicts, stress, reactions instead of responses, loss of trust, unmet deadlines. Decision making becomes an uphill task.
Integrity is a composite quality. It means you can trust each other, instead of second guessing. It is the absence of hidden agendas and the presence of transparency, with nothing questionable. It is the assurance that each will deliver the best, on time, and be accountable to fellow team members. Integrity reduces problems, creates peace and well being, enhances togetherness, and leads to better decisions and choices.
Five Questions for Team Managers
Oct 17th
Wonder why your team is dysfunctional? Here is a diagnostic checklist to make sure that you are not contributing to your team’s ill health.
Are you neglecting communication with your team? Communication is an ongoing process, not a single past event. So, you’ll want to keep at it. Let your team know why they’re doing what they are doing, so they own the process, and improve performance.
Are you operating in the negative mode? Negative thinking can come from working in a reactive environment, such as in IT, where much time is spent reacting to problems and situations such as decreasing network downtime or putting out fires. To be a good leader you need to recognize the positive, such as recognizing and highlighting increased uptime. Recognize your people for the progress they make.
Are you treating everyone the same way? Team does not mean one size fits all. It may be true in some cases. However, if someone has a performance issue, don’t impose corrective measures on everyone. Do not be afraid to confront that one failing team member in private. Making everyone feel guilty is counterproductive.
Are you aware of the needs and concerns of your team? Some team leaders fail to talk on behalf of their team and represent their own interests. They do not take into consideration the thinking of the team. They want to be seen as the one who “gets things done.” So they refuse to tell their bosses that something can’t be done. Never over-promise on your team’s behalf.
Are you in the habit of never admitting you’re wrong or never taking responsibility? Being a manager of a team involves risk. If your team fails, you should and will be the one held accountable. Even if one individual team member messed it up, your job was to manage the overall performance, and you didn’t do it. So draw a deep breath and take responsibility for it. And if your own actions caused a kink in a project, admit it. Not owning up damages your credibility far more than simply saying, “I was wrong.”
Good team managers are made, not born. Be proactive in making yourself the best manager around. Seek the welfare of your team, for in its welfare is your welfare.
Are You Connected?
Oct 17th
Some studies have shown that between 65 to 80% of all new jobs are found through networking. Tom made hundreds of contacts, which helped him get a job at the helm of a start-up. He then sent almost a thousand thank you notes, with a card announcing his new assignment. His networking had paid off, and he was grateful for all those who had taken the time to advise and provide referrals.
How connected are you? If you were to suddenly lose your job, what might be the ensuing scenario?
Networking is essentially about connecting with people who are relevant to your profession and career. It is not a single event, but an ongoing process. From a marketing standpoint, it is about selling yourself to others. That takes time. You cannot just wake up one day and out of the blue dial someone and expect that person to stand up for you. If someone did that to you, how would you feel? Used and thrown, like tissue. Not nice.
They say that the scientific formula for networking is as predictable as mathematics. What you reap is in direct proportion to what you have sown. So, if you have been neglecting this activity, it’s time to change.
Here are some pointers for successful networking.
Good People, Terrible Decision
Oct 16th
A recent BBC news report:
A US couple who prayed rather than seeking medical attention for their dying daughter have been sentenced to six months in jail.[i]
The couple is accused of recklessly killing the youngest of their four children by ignoring clear symptoms of severe illness as she became too weak to speak, eat, drink or walk. The couple had a legal duty to take their daughter to a doctor but had instead relied totally on prayer for healing. More >