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Have you ever noticed how many of our conversations are “for the most part dialogues of the deaf.” Some conversations drag, like walking on molten tar. A precious few like a walk in the park, leave us understood, delighted and refreshed.

Dr Paul Tournier[i] points out that our tendency is to set forth our own ideas, to justify ourselves, to enhance ourselves and to accuse others. Mostly, we are so busy with our own internal conversation, our self-talk, that we hardly hear, leave alone understand, those talking with us. It seems to be as common in homes and offices, as between friends and nations.

We have been given two ears and one mouth, so I guess we need to listen twice as much as we talk. As one proverb puts it: A wise man has large ears.  It would seem that evolution has mostly produced people with tiny ears and inflated egos. Some cosmetic surgery might do good. Here are two interesting links on the subject. Check them out, to help get those ears.

Difficult Conversations video

Difficult Conversations article

[i] Marriage Difficulties by Paul Tournier